Hello, my name is Lisa.
I am a mom to two boys, ages 9 and 12, who are on the autism spectrum. I’m going to be writing stories that give you a look into our lives, some funny, some scary, along with the challenges and the accomplishments.
This is by no means to say that I know everything there is about parenting children with autism. It is simply meant to share our experiences, maybe educate a little, and start a conversation.
I’m going to begin with how our autism journey started: with Cole.
Cole’s Early Years
When Cole was born, he was like every other typical baby and toddler except that we noticed he was a bit behind in meeting his milestones, such as crawling, walking, and talking. He eventually reached all of those milestones; however, there were little things we noticed along the way that seemed different.
Cole would line up many of his toys in a perfect little line. He wouldn’t “play” with them the way children normally do, and he didn’t play with other kids. Instead, he preferred to sit and do his own thing. At the time, we didn’t think much of it until our family doctor suggested we might want to have him assessed for autism.
We didn’t know much about autism then. It’s funny, because now it’s a huge part of our world.
The Diagnosis
Cole was referred to a psychologist and an occupational therapist in Antigonish. Both were incredibly kind and completed their assessments after we filled out many forms. In the end, they came back with the diagnosis.
We were upset, not because of Cole himself, but because we didn’t know what the diagnosis would mean for him or for his future.
Early Intervention and Support
Everything happened pretty quickly. Cole was three years old and close to starting Pre-Primary, so support services began right away.
Early Intervention came first. The workers were amazing with him. They would come into our home, play with him, work on skills he needed, and also teach us, as parents, useful strategies we could use to help him. We learned so much during this time.
Next came the decision about whether we wanted Cole to start EIBI (Early Intensive Behavioral Intervention). As the name suggests, it is much more intensive than weekly sessions. Instead of
meeting once a week, this involved 15 hours a week in our home (or another chosen location) for a full year. The team would also attend Pre-Primary with him.
We decided we wanted Cole to have every bit of support available, so we went ahead with it and it was amazing. We learned so much, and so did Cole.
Watching Him Thrive
From the little boy who once sat alone playing and wasn’t very social, Cole became one of the most social kids I know. He always has friends over and is rarely on his own. To this day, he loves making up games and has a huge imagination.
So many people tell us they didn’t even realize Cole is on the spectrum. Unfortunately, many people still assume that children with autism can’t talk, which they take to mean they aren’t smart. Others assume that hand flapping or making “weird” noises means a child doesn’t understand what’s happening around them or can’t do the things others can.
I’m here to tell you that isn’t true at all.
The children who aren’t talking often have so much to say. The ones flapping their hands or jumping up and down are usually excited about something they are doing or seeing and they would love for you to be excited with them. Their noises are often an extension of that excitement.
Every Child Is Unique
Every single child on the spectrum is special, smart, interesting, unique, and amazing.
As I’ve heard many times before:“If you’ve met one kid with autism, you’ve only met one kid with autism.”
The spectrum is very real. No two children are alike. They may share similarities or behaviors, but each one has their own abilities and challenges.
You would be surprised at how incredibly smart their brains are and how different they work. I’ve often said I wish I could get inside their minds to see what they’re thinking. Most of all, kids on the spectrum want what every other child wants: to be included, accepted, have fun, and play.
This is just the beginning of our story. There are so many moments, big and small, that have shaped our journey as a family navigating life on the autism spectrum. In future posts, I’ll be sharing more of those experiences: the funny moments that make us laugh, the harder moments that test us and sometimes make us cry, the lessons we’ve learned along the way, and the many accomplishments that make us so proud. I will tell you about Ryan’s experience next time and how things were different for him.
My hope is that by sharing our story, others might feel less alone, learn something new, or feel encouraged to start a conversation of their own. Every journey looks different, and this is simply ours, but it’s one I’m grateful to be able to share.
